2,022 Resolutions for 2022

1. I shall stop exaggerating
2. I shall stop wearing track pants in public…
3. …and start wearing pants on Zoom calls
4. I shall stop telling my wife she is married to a sex God – just a God will do
5. I shall feel the top of my head before asking if anyone has seen my glasses?
6. I shall stop yelling at politicians on the nightly news. According to my daughters, they can’t hear me
7. I shall stop swearing
8. I shall stop using the word ‘shall’
9. I shall …. oh shit!
10. I will continue to be the debonair, dreamy looking bloke I have always been
11. I will work on my humility
12. I will be less cynical about one-off mental health days and yellow cupcakes
13. I will no longer get my medication mixed up with my dog’s, thereby avoiding an irresistible urge to drag my bum along the carpet
14. I resolve not to lie when my psychiatrist asks how much I drink
15. I will avoid cliches like the plague
16. I will be more accepting of Bill Gates’ behaviour. Say what you like, but at least he isn’t wasting billions building rockets.
17. I resolve to stop reading the obituaries to see if my name is in there
18. I shall actually look through the fancy-looking books that have been ornamenting my coffee table for years
19. I resolve to use my super powers of invisibility for good, not change rooms
20. I resolve to be more politically correct but only if some others agree to be a little less
21. I resolve not to speak about my lack of grandchildren in front of my daughters
22. I resolve to stop these silly shenanigans right here, right now. Have a great year

David Westgate is a:

• Mental Health Ambassador for Assure Programs
• Speaker for the Black Dog Institute
• Master Mental Health First Aid trainer
• and bipolar 1.

#newyearresolutions #assureprograms #blackdoginstitute